Everybody sees their body differently; hence, negotiating this can be difficult. While some people value their reflection, others might struggle to embrace what they observe.
Among these several points of view, a group called autos*xuals—those who experience romantic and s*xual attraction toward themselves—have lately attracted attention.
45-year-old yoga teacher Chris notes he is autos*xual and has known he felt this way since he was young. At twelve, during puberty, he initially became drawn to himself. As a teen, he started to investigate this connection, which resulted in a close and personal relationship with himself, which he calls a love affair full of passion and romance.
Chris stresses that his primary relationship is with himself even though he is in a long-distance relationship with his two-year lover.
Engaging closely with his reflection, he performs a process he calls “mirroring.” He addresses his mirror as “we” and calls himself “him” throughout this procedure.
On her website, Kourtney Kardashian even discussed this subject, questioning whether anyone might identify as autos*xual.
According to s*x therapist Katherine Hertlein, who notes that auto s*xuality can include many attitudes and behaviours involving self-attraction, many of us may have at least a hint of this attraction toward ourselves.
Chris realized he was different from his friends, who were preoccupied with courting others, in his teenage years. It all started with naive flirtation at twelve years old. Following a year of growing emotions, he had a turning point at age 13 when he noticed his reflection upon returning from the beach. Wearing yellow swim trunks, he kissed his reflection and experienced an intense electric surge of attraction.
Back then, he had no word for what he was going through; it wasn’t until later that he came to the idea of autos*xuality. Though initially unable to identify his emotions, his relationship with himself developed into a significant pattern. Chris preferred to keep his self-love secret, building this link without sharing it with anybody, as his buddies had discussed courting other people in traditional relationships.
Chris eventually opened up to his father as an adult, but he felt his late mother would not have appreciated his particular viewpoint on s*xuality. It was more difficult to explain his emotions without language, yet hiding this side of himself also sharpened his yearning.
Chris is greatly delighted by these intimate times. “When I close the door and connect with that beautiful boy in the mirror,” he says, “it feels incredible, almost like a dr*g.” Through self-care and frequent self-telling himself, “I understand,” he fosters this bond throughout mirroring sessions.
Chris’s relationship with himself has changed from physical attraction to something more profound and emotional. Though he occasionally battles unfavourable self-perceptions, it doesn’t lessen his enjoyment of these occasions. Times free of intimacy might intensify the intensity in later encounters.
He spoke of the experience as strong and rewarding, a haven among the turbulence of life. For Chris, interacting with himself has become comforting under trying circumstances. One unforgettable event happened in a department shop fitting room when he indulged in private mirroring-based mischievous behaviour. This encounter not only excited him but also inspired once more inventiveness.
Chris acknowledges his long-distance boyfriend even though his relationship with himself is quite sensual and emotionally satisfying. Their friendship is open; Chris’s friend encourages his path of self-love and even enjoys seeing him in these private moments. They have a mature awareness that improves their relationship.
Chris acknowledges, nevertheless, that envy has sometimes interfered with his former relationships. Sometimes, he turned away romantic attempts because he was too focused on his relationship. In one instance, a female broke off with him by text as Chris’s intense self-awareness made her feel ignored.
Chris clarifies that it’s not about looking for affirmation or superiority over others, even though some people believe autos*xuality is equivalent to narcissism. Rather, it’s a reflective trip that is sometimes kept secret from the outside world. Although narcissists often force themselves on others, he thinks that in an autos*xual relationship none of anybody suffers.
Because of his unusual approach to love, some have incorrectly called him as*xual—a word he vehemently objects to since he feels an intense desire for himself. Because of his single concentration on self-love, many believed he was apathetic in dating anyone else during his college years.
Chris’s narrative generally emphasises the complexity of human attraction and the need for self-acceptance. His path shows how knowing oneself may provide great satisfaction and delight in both romantic and personal life.